Bottom

This Friday I get to go home.  I am terribly excited to be back with the people I care about, even if it is just for a few days.  I’m also incredibly worried about money.  I have none.  I am poor.  My options are limited and I think I’m going to have to either move back home or get a second job asap.  Other than these two options I truly only have one other option, and that is to write a deal that’s at least a VIP Gold package as there’s a standing spif on that which I would get paid on before rent is due.  If that doesn’t happen before I go home then I’ll be looking for a job in the midwest while I’m there and then looking for a second job here in AC when I’m back.  I’d really like to not fail.  If I move I want it to be for a better reason than “I couldn’t hack it.”  Only time will tell.

I’m going into work tomorrow.  It’s my day off but I have off this coming weekend so I’ll need to make up a day just to even my odds.  If I write a Gold or Platinum tomorrow then all of my problems are taken care of for the next couple months.  I would certainly prefer a Platinum, but I’ll settle for a Gold.  Hell, I’ll take just about any deal right now, though there’s only a few that will help me out of my predicament.

I am so close to losing everything.

White Flag Or No?

Everytime I basically give up and decide it’s time to move back home someone says something that motivates me to stay. Last night I had made the decision that this isn’t working and I’m packing up my stuff and moving back home. Today as I was trying to leave the house I was talking to Jennifer and Lee and they were telling me about all the fun they had doing this in New Orleans before Katrina. Lots of it obviously was centered around drinking, but the basis of it was have fun and be real with these people and you’ll do great. They also reminded me that being real with people means I do need to beat them up a little sometimes. I’ve forgotten that. I used to do this well and it worked well for me, but ever since changing companies I haven’t because this company has so many corporate rules and regulations that I’ve been afraid of getting in trouble. Now I’m thinking Why does that matter if I’m going to quit anyways? So back to my old ways that worked I guess because whatever I’m doing or not doing right now is certainly not working as it should be.

There’s also rumor of some people going back down to New Orleans once it’s back open and they want me to go with. That’s just another motivating factor of holding on and holding out. For some reason I figure New Orleans would be terrible on my liver and my body, but the experience… Especially from a musical standpoint. Could be awesome so we’ll see. Plus, drunken tourist chicks constantly… :p

So while that’s the positive side there’s a downside. I realized last night that there is basically nothing here for me. So far I’m not seeing the money. The women aren’t working out. I’ve more or less accepted that I don’t think Josie and I will ever really work out, at least not anytime soon if at all. I have friends here but… not like I do back home. Different types of friends. I’m not going to Philly or NYC often enough because of the lack of cash. My managers here are… terrible. I’ve never seen so many people working together who are so far away from being on the same page. Those that can close deals can’t manage and those who can manage can’t close deals. I can count the exceptions on one hand finger. Again, I’m hopefull that there’ll be a change soon though so I keep holding on. We’ve had a handful of management changes lately that are at a higher level than these people so I’m hoping that’ll trickle downstream.

I went to Guitar Center here in AC the other day and looked at some gear there. Akai has a new MPC, the MPC500 as pictured here:

This is also motivation to write business. It’s cheap too, only like $800. Would be real handy as it’s tiny and portable and runs on batteries. So we’ll see. I need to get a little binder and put pictures of this kind of shit that motivates me to do well and look at it while at work so I stay motivated to write. I should swing over to Staples tonight or tomorrow and pick something like that up.

The Sound of Africa

Watch and listen to Africa.

Goal Setting

“It’s just as difficult to reach a destination you don’t have, as it is to come back from a place you’ve never been.”

For the past few days I’ve been working especially hard to get focused for work.  This goes hand in hand with setting goals, which is something I haven’t taken serious thus far.

“A goal casually set and lightly taken is freely abandoned at the first obstacle.”

I need to make a detailed list of what I want out of this job.  I need to find what will motivate me and what I need to stay focused on to do well.  I need a plan.  I’m going to make a quick list of things I want so I can work on organizing them later:

• An apartment of my own.
• A house of my own paid in cash.
• A new car paid in cash.
• Investing.
• New desktop computer.
• New laptop computer.
• Firewire hard drives.
• Big TV.
• PS3.
• Wii.
• Tiffany&.
• Work shirts.
• Work ties.
• Work pants.
• Work shoes.
• T-Shirts.
• Jeans.
• Dunks.
• Running shoes.
• New iPod.
• Apartment decorations.
• Carnegie bed.
• CDs.
• DVDs.
• Logic Audio upgrade.
• Groceries.
• A bunch of other stuff I’ll add in a little bit.

Step-stone Theory

“After a moment’s thought the young woman replied, “Maybe it’s their attitude. They don’t seem to think their work is confining; they seem to see something beyond the routine.”

This was the crux of the problem. One of the secrets of job satisfaction is being able to “see beyond the routine.” It is knowing that your work is leading somewhere. This is true whether you are a housewife or a file cleark, a gasoline pump operator or the president of a large corporation. You’ll find satisfaction in routine chores only when you see them as stepping stones. Each chore is a stone, leading in a direction that you choose.”

(Success Through A Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill)

17 Success Principles

A reminder to myself…

1. A positive mental attitude.
2. Definiteness of purpose.
3. Going the extra mile.
4. Accurate thinking.
5. Self-discipline.
6. The master mind.
7. Applied faith.
8. A pleasing personality.
9. Personal initiative.
10. Enthusiasm.
11. Controlled attention.
12. Teamwork.
13. Learning from defeat.
14. Creative vision.
15. Budgeting time and money.
16. Maintaining sound physical and mental health.
17. Using cosmic habit force.